Am I a Bad Feminist?

Am I a bad feminist?

That’s a question I ask myself daily. We are surrounded by media, some of it for and some against the feminist values, and does how we consume that media matter?

As I drive to class while blasting Crazy Rap by Afroman and singing all the words I ask myself that question. Can I enjoy this clearly anti-feminist media and still be a feminist?

Or can I say negative things about myself or occasionally another female and still be one?

Can I be picky with men and still reject the notion of toxic masculinity and say we place too harsh of beauty standards on women when I am doing the same to men and still call myself a feminist?

Honestly, I don’t know.

I know that we are not perfect, we all slip up sometimes but it wasn’t an accident that I fell in love with the toxic relationship of Chuck and Blair on Gossip Girl not once but twice when I re-watched the season and Crazy Rap didn’t just show up on my favorites playlist.

The truth is I don’t know if anyone will ever be the “perfect” feminist and by having the notion of the perfect feminist we are creating unrealistic expectations for ourselves as women- something that we are trying to fight against.

We have to remember that we are humans first, we have micro-bias', we have flaws, and we do make mistakes.

It is growing from those mistakes and trying to be better and looking at the mistakes of the world and attempting to correct them that I believe makes you a good feminist.

Anyone who knows me knows that I am a proud sorority woman. I joined my chapter knowing that sororities are not the ideal vision of feminism but they were created on the basis that women should be equal and I joined for what I knew it could be not what it was. While my sorority has its flaws I do believe we are working to become a good example of a feminist organization as we are constantly making changes to learn and grow and be more inclusive.

I also don’t know if we have to disown all of the media that doesn’t go immediately with the feminist agenda. I think we need an escape from reality, and to not always be perfect.

I'm not sure if you can just BE an amazing feminist. It is something you have to work for, just like being a kind person. It is adjusting your daily actions to line up better with your ideologies and doing what is best for the world.

So, will I keep listening to songs that perpetuate negative stereotypes of women such as Crazy Rap? Maybe. But I will make sure that I continue to grow and watch the things I say and do to have my actions reflect what I say my ideologies.

This means lifting people up, working to make my sorority and the Greek community more inclusive, and creating a safe space for everyone around me.

If you are looking for some positive feminist music click here. For feminist movies to click here.

Next week we will be talking about birth control!